Yes Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.
"Every line of that song is true, NK." Jay worked over to my sideand sat down.
"Anytime Steph sang it, it was different. There was a light in hereyes, like she knew." I stared into the distance, quiet at the memory.
"I also want you to know. I want to be known by you, NK." He heldmy hands, and for a moment i was breathless. I bowed my head, myheart racing.
"Look at me beloved," he tenderly raised my chin and looked intomy soul. "There's no need to be afraid, I see it all your pain, yourstruggles and tears. But nothing will separate you from my love.Those guys, they all waltzed into your life, and ran. Not that I blamethem though, your matter strong sometimes." He chuckled
"Pidgin English, really?" I raised a brow. "What other surprises doyou have Jay?"
He flashed a smile. " A lot! Hey, don't ruin the moment.* he gave aslight tug on my arm.
"I will keep running to you! Forever and always! I want to show yousomething." He opened his palm.
For a moment it seemed blurry, like a stained glass and then inseconds, I realized I was staring at images of myself right fromwhen I was a baby till present.
I gasped.
"You are forever tattooed here, NK"
I wanted to believe him, but it was just unbelievable.
"Just crazy right?" He smiled.
"Yes, crazy!" I bit my lips and I remembered, every hurt and pain.Jerking free, I stood up immediately tears flowing freely.
"If you are Jesus. Heck, if you are God then why? Why did youallow all of it? Why did you stand by and allow everyone of themhurt me? Aren't you all powerful as they say you are?" Why did youlook away when my dad beat my mum to pulp and even watch mego through the same with my first husband?"
"NK...." Through my tears, i saw he was crying as well
"He gave me HIV!" I screamed, my shoulders vibrating.
"You have hurt others as well, remember Anna, your firstborn? Youcouldn't bear to look at her, she was born with spina bifida and youjust realized you had HIV. So all you could see was a congenitallydeformed child when I saw hope, beauty and promise. RememberOctober 1st?"
I did remember just like it was yesterday.
"On third mainland bridge, you let her go to the mercy of the waves.Did she deserve that? She had a fighting chance NK, I had alreadyprovided a surgeon who would do the procedure for free. But youwere impatient."
I buried my face in my hands.
"Much as I am powerful, man always has a choice. And if justiceshould be the real order of the day, if we wanted to keep score ofwrong suffered and ills done in mankind. No one would be leftstanding."
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God?" Iwhispered, a realization dawned in my heart.
Yes.
"But mercy triumphed over judgement" he came to where I lay andstroked my back
"Somehow Love came through."
TO BE CONTINUED
GO ACHIEVE
Diariesofhopelive@gmail.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment