I spent the major part of my life in the hands of the wrong people - my family or should I say my foes? Verbally and physically abused by my uncles wife, she gave me no room to dream, how can I dream? When I was constantly kept awake by the terror her shadows represent, I was raped by my uncle as a young boy, just 14 years old.
After that night I ran away from the house, as far as my legs could take me. I could bet no one looked for me, since then it has been from ghetto to creeks, my veins take the shape of the syringe, my neurons reveal what wreck I have become nervously.
I have done all I can to free myself from my past and to chart a new course but nothing seems to work, all I see is a bleak future.
I am battered. Born into a wealthy home, I have everything I want, shopping spree in Paris and Dubai. Holidays in every part of the world I choose. I am beautiful this I know, with all these one will call me gifted but my gift is my curse. There is a great vacuum in me that longs to be filled, I thought I could handle this.
I said to myself, "you are a beautiful girl, you have the world at your command what else do you need?" I was advised " to live life" I buy the best cars, party with elites in every city I go to, within and out of the country but I still fill empty. I said to myself, get yourself a family, surely this will work.
I got into a relationship, beautiful as it was, we had a son and many years after I still fill this vacuum within me, my soul says to me, something is missing. I am depressed, can't understand, having so much and yet empty, so much I needed a rehab.
I came back home after 1 year in rehab, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and I knew I had to end it all, so I took a blade and the next thing I remember was a nurse administering IV drugs via a cannula in my hand, apparently someone walked in on me in time to take me to the hospital.
I am battered, I have all I could think of and yet I am still empty, I have a vacuum in me that needs to be filled.
Dear friends, their is one person that can take your burden away forever. He is the burden bearer, the chain breaker and the way maker.
He said, “Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28 GW)
There is an emptiness we feel when he is not in our lives, our soul is burdened and trying to fill it up with things or people will amount to nothing.
This is what King David said; “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;”
(Psalms 63:1 KJV)
Same David gave the solution to the yearning of our soul; “As if with choice meat you satisfy my soul. My mouth joyfully praises you,”
(Psalms 63:5 NET)
It is God that breaks the chains that bind us to our ugly past and gives us a new life with a future that is bright and filled with hope.
It is God that fills the vacuum in our lives with his presence, so much that we are satisfied.
And he does this by his son Jesus, when we accept Jesus, we accept the burden bearer, the vacuum filler, that takes away the emptiness in us. Jesus Is Lord.
GO ACHIEVE
IBANICHUKA K T
Ibaniking@gmail.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment