CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD7
“Fff..orgiveness” I blinked in disbelief, the weight of the word and its implications dropped like lead in my heart.
“Yes dear,” Jay replied his eyes mirroring understanding. “You don’t have to do this alone you know, one of my promises is to be with you always even unto the end of the world.” he held my hand in his.
“What if I don’t want to?” I withdrew immediately, avoiding his all-knowing gaze, afraid of what he could see, afraid that the all too familiar gentleness would demand entry into places in her heart; places she had locked up and sealed.
“Why do you to carry an unnecessary burden?”
At least it’s my burden, isn’t it?
“I heard that,” he rolled his eyes and continued, “Forgiveness is not for the offender, it’s actually for you. You give yourself the experience of being free from bitterness, anger and hatred.”
“But what if they did is unforgiveable, unforgettable? Like the mere sight of them is enough to make you puke.”
“It depends on what lens you’re looking through when you see them, NK. Love is the best lens, it’s what I see you through with, and it’s what God sees man with.”
“I don’t know Jay, it’s just hard.” I shuddered, my resistance waning.
“Let me tell you a story, NK”
I snuggled closer, grateful for the diversion.
“There lived a billionaire CEO who had assets in every continent in the world. As his custom was, he was settling his accounts with major shareholders and partners before Christmas. As he got under way, it was discovered that one of his trusted workers who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off as soon as possible.”
“Wow, that must have been scary” I echoed.
“Yeah, the man threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt. The worker was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow colleagueswho owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, ‘Pay up. Now!”
His colleague threw himself down and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ But he wouldn’t do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid.
“Can you imagine the guy?! Such an ingrate” I interjected.
“I can,” Jay smiled weakly before continuing. “When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the CEO who summoned the man and said, ‘I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn’t you be compelled to do the same for your colleague asked for mercy?’ The CEO was furious and locked up the man in jail.”
The next few seconds that passed were heavy with realizationand clarity I hadn’t known before.
“Yes NK, its time.” Jay patted my shoulder.
I nodded, my hands sweaty. The locks on one of the many sealed doors of my heart giving way to love and mercy.
“Yes, yes… to all the men who have hurt me in my life. I forgive you.”
THE CONVERSATION CONTINUES..
GO ACHIEVE
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